Hello World ...

It's Really Me This Time

I am an artist, philosopher, theologian, and technologist. I've been told to fit a niche and be a particular kind of person for the last few decades of my life. I can understand, economically, how this is important. Following that recommendation in my studies and my "work" worked out really well for me.

I made a mistake though. A particular mistake. A specific and, until recently, totally invisible mistake for me. I suspect many people, most people even, fall into this very mistake. It's a sort of mixture between golden handcuffs, neuroticism, pride, an expectation of getting a beating, & overfitting positive re-enforcement.

I created for myself, a series of artificial personas. An fake "person" crafted out of fear and self protection. I developed this "person" to make myself acceptable, successful, & safe. I develop this "person" to prevent my softer self from being hurt and with time, I began to believe that is what I am. I believed that the "person" I created to protect myself IS myself.

I put "person" in quotes in the preceding paragraph because the physical self is shown to the world at all times but that is not the part of myself I am talking about. We know that a human is a body and a soul. We know that the soul is created immediately by God, it is not a combination of components from parents like the body is (CCC 366). It is the human soul which was being hidden from others.

I was hiding it because of a sort of mixture between golden handcuffs, neuroticism, pride, an expectation of getting a beating, & overfitting positive re-enforcement. Hopefully though the things I share on this website, you can avoid the pains I have and if you can relate, that you would be soothed.